CODE MONKEYS "Playoffs" written by Bobby Skinner

104 Tawny Ridge Lane Cary, NC 27513 (919)461-3685 Copyright (c) 2007, Bobby Skinner, All Rights reserved. Registered WGAe No. 149391 bobbyski@mac.com

INT. - BRIANS APARTMENT - MORNING NOTE: This episode is written for the canes Stanley cup run, but works for any major sporting event. The monolog would need to be redone, a few points in the plot-line will also need adjusting (like the cheer near the beginning).

This scene begins with Brian in the shower talking to the camera. Brian should be washing his hair while giving the monolog (like in Ferris Bueller) BRIAN Some days you go to work and the day has no real meaning. Those days are not very memorable. But then there are the days when your team starts it's playoff run that is a special day. But this is the day we start the Finals. (rinses hair) I mean, how often does your team get this far? The Stanley Cup finals, in North Carolina? It is going to be 85 degrees today and we have hockey. (steps out of shower and dries off) There has never been any kind of Pro championship in North Carolina and now we are going to get a hockey championship. We are going to be there. Jerry scored six tickets, we get to be there when history is made. (Slips a Jersey on) The Panthers made the super bowl a couple of years ago, but they didn't win it. But the 'Canes have been playing better than anyone in the league. And we have this young goalie named Ward that is playing like he is a 10 year veteran. The doorbell rings. Brian heads for the door

BRIAN This may be the best week of my life, I just hope it can go to 5 games so they can win it here. Brian opens the door LISA (smiling) Good morning Henderson, your head stop hurting yet? BRIAN I never have hangovers. They got you to drive? LISA No, believe it or not Jerry rented an Expedition, so we can all ride together. Door closes, roll title sequence EXT. - OUTSIDE OF OFFICE - MORNING Brian, Lisa, Jerry, Bill and Valerie are walking up to the front of the office. BRIAN, LISA, JERRY AND BILL (in unison) Come on ... Come on ... Come on, Lets go BRIAN, LISA, JERRY AND BILL (in unison) Come on ... Come on ... Come on, Lets go BRIAN, LISA, JERRY AND BILL (in unison) Come on ... Come on ... Come on, Lets go ... Lets go 'Canes They continue to chant this while Valerie walks a few feet ahead of them looking a little out of place. They continue till they nearly run over Valerie at the door.

LISA Come on Val, you forget how to work a door? They all laugh. VALERIE Ha, Ha. If you guys would pay attention to what you are doing instead of that stupid chant, you would have noticed that it is locked. BILL What, did you forget your card? (pushes her aside) What the hell? VALERIE See the reader is gone. A buzzer goes off, they open the door and walk in. INT. - OFFICE, RECEPTION - MORNING They all walk toward Rachel's desk, where she has a box of new cards. RACHEL (talking as she searches for their badges) We have to swap your old cards for new ones, it is part of the new security system. LISA How do we open the door when you are not here to buzz us in. RACHEL (looking up at Lisa) The new system uses proximity sensors to unlock the door as you walk up. It also records the date and time you entered.

JERRY Hello big brother. RACHEL It is worse than that. (she turns her monitor so they can see) When I click on your name, it shows me where you are in the building on this map. The idea is that I can see where you are at if someone is looking you, and give them a better response than, "I am sorry they don't appear to be in their office at the moment" BRIAN (laughing quietly) So now you can say, "I am sorry, he can't talk right now, he is on the crapper." RACHEL (laughing) I guess I could, isn't technology great. Bill walks up to Rachel's desk, the make eye contact and he looks down shyly. RACHEL (handing Bill his badge) Don't worry, I don't bite. BILL (stammering slightly) Thank ... Thank you! Brian, Lisa, Bill and Valerie walk on down the hall. The begin whispering to Bill. BRIAN (holding back his laughter) You were real smooth back there. BILL (meekly) Wha ... What do you mean?

BRIAN (mocking Bill) I ... I don't know BILL (slightly angry) Very funny. VALERIE (miffed) What do you guys see in her, the boobs? I bet they are not even real. BRIAN (surprised) Did you just say boobs? VALERIE What do you prefer breasts? BILL (interrupting) tits... BRIAN (starting to laugh) Bazoombas! LISA (hitting both guys lightly on the head) Grow up (turning to Valerie) You should know better than to egg them on - they're still 12 years old. INT. - SMALL CONFERENCE ROOM - MIDDAY Brian, Valerie and Bill file into room along with 5-6 other team members. Brian, Valerie and Bill sit together and begin to whisper. VALERIE (leaning toward Bill) I wonder why Dick called this meeting?

BILL Does he need a reason? Sometimes I think he calls then so he will have some one to talk to. BRIAN I can guarantee it is going to be bad because I saw him smiling a few minutes ago. Richard enters the room, still has a faint smile on his face. RICHARD I want to get started by saying we have added a TV and a free soda fountain. We are also having a new contest ... (fumbling looking for a poster) BRIAN (whispering to Valerie and Bill) Could I be wrong? RICHARD (continues talking) ... The winners of this contest will win a $250 gift card at one of 6 local stores for every member of the team... BILL (whispering) No, there is a catch, there always is. RICHARD (still speaking) ... We are going to win this prize. The price goes to the most efficient team. So for the next 5 days we are going to put in a lot of extra time. Starting with tonight. The a dull roar among the audience starts as they complain to each other.

BILL See I told you, there goes the playoffs. BRIAN We are NOT missing the playoffs! RICHARD You can use flex time to make up your ours after the contest is over. (turns his glare directly and intensely on Brian) I will be checking the new security system and if any of you leave for more than an hour, you will regret it. Richard picks up his stuff and smugly exits the room. BRIAN (looking intently) This means war. Bill and Valerie turn to look at each other with a worried look as the scene fades out.

INT. - JERRY'S OFFICE - NOON The scene opens with Lisa coming into Jerry's office to find Brian, Jerry, Bill and Valerie waiting. LISA Why are we all meeting here instead of going to lunch? BILL Brian has declared a war. LISA Oh God, not again! JERRY (mildly condescending stare at brian) What is it this time? No more Mountain

Dew in the cafeteria, no fritos in the break room? BRIAN He is taking away the playoffs. Jerry grabs a Samurai sword from a display behind them and jumps up on his desk. JERRY (intently) The barbarian, I shall run him through like the .... Jerry suddenly stops, turns to Brian and tosses him the sword. JERRY (holding back his laughter) Dude ... I don't work for him, hate you are missing the game, I will try to get a good price for your tickets. Jerry steps off the desk, adjusts his tie and takes a couple steps toward the door. BRIAN (turning his head toward the exiting Jerry) Did I ever tell you about the time when Jerry and I were 15 years old and we ... Jerry turns quickly and throws a nazi salute. JERRY (speaking with a fake german accent) Mon General! I shall follow you into the very pit of hell! BRIAN (slightly laughing) I thought you might come around. Ok everybody gather around. They all move to a tight circle resembling a football huddle.

BRIAN (pointing at Jerry) You go to rachel and see if you can grab some extra ID cards that we can use. BILL (interrupting) Why can't I talk to Rachel BRIAN Sorry, but it seems that all the blood rushes out of your head when you are near her, I assume you need it elsewhere. Jerry, Lisa and Valerie all chuckle a little BRIAN Also, I need you to find a way in and out of the building with out using the doors. (turns to Lisa) Can you find out how Richard is getting to the game tonight. I know he is not giving it up even if he expects us to. LISA Sure, but you will owe me! BRIAN (turning toward Valerie) I need some dirt on Dick! I do not care what it is, but I need something to hold over his head. VALERIE Are you kidding? How do I do that? BRIAN I don't know, but you were top of your class at MIT, so that makes you the smartest one here! Brian claps his hands BRIAN We meet back here at 1430 hours.

Lisa rolls her eyes as the scene fades out. INT. - RECEPTION - AFTERNOON Jerry enters the reception area. RACHEL (sly untrusting look) So why am I getting a visit from the great Jerry Sanders? JERRY (smiling) What do you mean, do I have to have a reason to visit the prettiest woman around? RACHEL Yeah, I bet? JERRY (looking surprised) You don't trust me? RACHEL Not any farther than I can throw you. JERRY That hurts, it really does. I have been trying to get my nerve up to ask you out for months and you treat me like this? My ego is crushed. RACHEL I doubt that is even possible. JERRY So, will you help me get my confidence by letting me take you to a nice candlelit dinner at ... RACHEL (interrupting) I am not going anywhere with you that is not well lit, so I can keep an eye on

you. JERRY (honestly surprised) How about ... RACHEL (interrupting again) If you will stop insulting my intelligence and tell me what you really want, I will choose where you can take me. It will be expensive and you will not, (looking directly into his eyes with a serious glare) I repeat NOT be getting lucky. I am not sure we will even call it a date. JERRY (still stunned) OK, OK, So do you have any of those ID cards left over do you? RACHEL No Way, I could loose my job in a heartbeat if I did that. Not a chance in ... JERRY (interrupting) Yeah, I should have told Brian this was a bad idea. RACHEL (smiling) Oh, it is for Brian, you should have said so he is such a sweet guy. Jerry sits with an unbelieving look on his face as Rachel opens her desk drawer and pulls out the box of ID's. RACHEL (holding the last remaining badge) The only one left is Mr. O'Neil's, I doubt even you guys are stupid enough to

get away with that one. JERRY (standing up) Yeah that would be a little stupid. Jerry starts walking off, and Rachel puts the ID badge away. RACHEL (still looking down) You can make reservations for next Friday night at Ruth Chris'. You may as well invite your friends, It isn't a date. Jerry continues to walk out shaking his head. Fade Out. INT. - BILL'S CUBICLE - AFTERNOON Brian walks in and begins talking to Bill (they should be whispering through out this scene) BRIAN Did you find anything? BILL Yes, but you are not going to like it? BRIAN Why not? BILL (pointing to floor plan on his computer screen) The roof is the only way? BRIAN What about the freight loading bays? BILL They have sensors. BRIAN OK, then we go from the roof. Come on lets check it out. Brian starts walking out with Bill following close behind

BILL Are you crazy, you want to go off the roof? BRIAN We are not missing this game! BILL Thats just it, it is just a game! Brian stops and turns around so fast that Bill runs into him. BRIAN (intensely) It's not the game! Brian turns and gets several strides ahead of Bill as Bill stands there looking dumbfounded. Brian turns into a room a was up the Hall. About the time Brian gets out of sight, Jerry comes walking up behind Bill. JERRY (smiling) Why so glum, monkey? BILL He has lost it! JERRY You realize you are standing in the hall by yourself, right? And talking about yourself in the third person - you have lost it. BILL (turning to face Jerry) Not me, you idiot, Brian. JERRY Lets go find him then. BILL He is on the roof. JERRY Then lets go talk him down.

BILL (walking past Jerry) No, he is not trying to kill himself. You really are an idiot aren't you. How do you sell anything with no intelligence. They disappear into the same door that Brian went through. EXT. - THE ROOF - AFTERNOON As Bill and Jerry come through the roof hatch they see Brian looking over the edge. JERRY (yelling) You OK? BRIAN (excited) Yeah, yeah, yeah, Did you get the badges? JERRY I thought I had em, but she found out they were for you and would not give them up. I don't know what you did to piss her off, but at least I came away with a date. Bill glares at Jerry for a moment. BRIAN (looks confused but then shakes it off and returns to a focused look) That's OK, I've got the plan. Bill starts to speak but Jerry stops him JERRY (whispering to Bill) Come on, we have got to hear this! Brian is still very excited, he should almost be insane BRIAN (pointing to an object on the

roof) We tie the rope off here, loop it around us, use this (pointing at a short post or pole on the roof) as a fulcrum, loop the rope around and use the loose end to control our decent. So here is the plan. Switch to a dream like sequence where you see the characters doing what brian in narrating. INT./EXT. - HALLWAY, LADDER AND ROOF - NIGHT This scene should be shot with a soft focus to indicate that it is imagined. Brian, Lisa, Bill, Valerie and Jerry are all dressed in black from head to toe, and their faces should have black shoe polish on the cheeks. They should be carrying flashlights and Brian should have a rope looped around a shoulder. each carrying a small black duffle bag. while moving they should be hunched over and looking around like burglars. BRIAN We make our way down the hall... They enter the room with the roof access ladder. BRIAN ... and up the ladder ... Jerry is last behind Valerie obviously admiring her rear. She should gently kick his forehead stop his ogling. BRIAN ... we block the access so it can't latch behind us ... Brian uses a small piece of wood to hold the hatch slightly ajar. BRIAN ... we tie off the rope ...

Brian ties the rope to a structure on the roof, loops it around himself and goes over the edge carefully. cut to the ground where Jerry is reaching the ground where the other four are waiting. BRIAN ... then to the car ... They "sneak" across the lot to the SUV. Where they get Canes gear from the bags and put it on. BRIAN ... and off to the game ... The get in the car which should spin the tires as it pulls off. BRIAN ... where we disable Dick's car ... Show a shot of Brian pulling an absurd number of wires from under the hood of Richard's car. BRIAN We enjoy the game. Show them entering the RBC in a crowd. BRIAN After the game we reverse the whole process. Do a keystone cops effect to show the entire return in a few moments. Fade out dream sequence. EXT. - THE ROOF - AFTERNOON Fade back in to Brian BRIAN (smiling proudly) ... and that is my plan!

The camera pans to Bill and Jerry in a dumbfounded stare. JERRY (uneasily) Great plan. BILL (stammering) Ah ... yeah ... great plan. Jerry walks over to Brian, places are around him. JERRY There is just (holds up one finger) one problem with your plan. BRIAN (holding up one finger) one? JERRY (shaking the finger slightly) one. BRIAN No, I think I have thought of everything. JERRY No, there is (holding up the finger up again) BRIAN (interrupting) I don't think so, I think I have taken every contingency into ... JERRY (pops brian on the back of the head and yells) WE ARE NOT NAVY SEALS! BILL Why are you going crazy over this, it is just a game.

BRIAN (looks serious) No, it's not the game, if we give in then he wins, he is the boss! BILL Don't you get it, he IS the boss! BRIAN No he is a manager, he is not the boss. He does not have the right to make us give up our lives. He becomes the boss when we give that to him. BILL Sometimes you lose. BRIAN But not to Dick - we are better than that. JERRY (looking off into the distance) Why don't we go with my plan. BRIAN (surprised) You have a plan? JERRY Admittedly, it is not as well thought out as yours, but it might just work. BRIAN Well, let's hear it. JERRY Why don't you leave your badges sitting on your desk and follow me out the door on my badge. We watch the game then come back and you put your badges back on. BRIAN (snickering) Well, I guess we could do that but some

day we have got to stop doing everything half-assed. They should be laughing to the fade out. EXT. - TAILGATING AT THE RBC - LATE AFTERNOON They are all dressed in canes gear surrounding a small smoldering grill. BILL (looking full) That was a great burger. I had never had one that big. JERRY, LISA AND VALERIE (somewhat in unison) Great burger! JERRY Hey Lisa, did you find out where Dick parked at? LISA (drinking a beer obviously buzzed) I took his parking pass to make sure I remembered. (pulls out the pass and reads it) Number 12831. Jerry grabs his cell phone and begins dialing. JERRY (shhhing the others with his finger) Hi this is Mr. Simpson in spot 12831, some asshole has parked in my spot and I want him towed by the end of the first period or heads will roll! BRIAN I guess it is time to head in to the game.

They all get up and start walking for the entrance. EXT. - THE RBC - NIGHT The all exit with a crowd of "hooting" fans. The Canes obviously won. LISA That was the best game, 5-4 wow! BILL Never better, I can't wait for Wednesday! JERRY Let's get you guys back to the office before Dick finds his way back. Cut to Richard standing in an empty parking space and talking on the phone. RICHARD (yelling on the phone) ... YES, IT WAS STOLEN FROM SPOT 12831 DURING THE GAME... Fade out. INT. - THE DEVELOPMENT BREAK ROOM - LATE NIGHT The gang is gathered around the table drinking their beers and discussing the game. Richard enters and they all hide their beers under the table. RICHARD (still angry) I see you guys are taking a break! How typical, I saw on the security logs that you were at your desks until 30 minutes ago, so good job - you need the break. I have to go file a police report for my stolen car. LISA Ah ... Mr. Simpson ... maybe it simply

got towed? RICHARD That is what the cops kept saying. I can't believe they are so lazy. Richard walks out the door and they all burst into laughter. VALERIE By the way, why did you have me get this info on Richard? BRIAN (laughing) I am sorry, that was to use if we got caught. VALERIE (throwing the report on the table in disgust) I am going home. Valerie exits showing her displeasure. JERRY (picks up the report and starts reading) Subject: Simpson, Richard, born Dec 12, 1959. Attended Buccanan High in the Bronks 312 in a class of 531. First Girlfriend at 19. Married at 20, Honeymooned at South of the Border in South Carolina. Had Affairs with .... BRIAN (grabbing the report from Jerry and mumbling while reading it silently) This reads like a CIA report. BILL What exactly did she do after MIT? LISA I don't know she always avoids the question when I try to find out.

Fade out as the remaining group looks surprised. Roll credits. FIN